Few things are more obnoxious than self-centered, pretentious co-op customers or really any customer that behaves without regard to other humans, what a bunch of indecent interlopers. These shoppers exist in two states. State 1: Extremely Oblivious To All Surroundings And Get Suddenly Angry When They Bump Into Someone/Something And It Should Be Their/Its Fault, these shoppers are absolutely horrid to deal with as they can't seem to figure out the definition of staying calm. Look its not my fault your life sucks and I certainly don't deserve to be lashed out on because you can't get your shit together. I can understand the whole bumping into an object/person and being upset especially if it's not their fault. However, I would say 95% of the time the accidents that are followed by an extreme verbal barrage are a direct result of what appears to be a bong-rip addled decision system. Honestly I have had roommates whom after several bong rips were more aware of their immediate surroundings. Seriously I have watched people push their carts into oncoming cart traffic, and these are easily avoidable accidents too. Certainly the first thoughts in their mind shouldn't be how another is at fault, but rather perhaps how they need to suck up their pride and start apologizing or figuring out in which way they plan on fixing their f*&^ing mess that they created. State 2: I Am Entitled To Do/Ask Whatever I Want Because I Am A Pompous F@#$ That Has Never Worked In The Service Industry Because I Think I Am Too Good For The Service Industry. Nothing boils my blood more than those customers that can easily be classified as pompous asses. While we are on the subject of the service industry, I think that their should be a new type of draft, one in which every person should be required to work a minimum of three years in the service industry. If for no other reason than to cram into their infinitely small minds how incredibly ridiculous and unnecessary their conduct is. I don't believe it to be that they are simply rich and famous, as I have served celebrities and they are typically nice and not demanding beyond reason. Really I think its more in line with how customers are allowed to conduct themselves in a business setting. This seems to be a direct result of the misconstrued and heavily abused notion that all customers "should have it their way". Similarly the practice of the customer always being right is defective, draconian, and absolutely trash. It has opened the door for customers to get away with essentially anything, even worse they expect that they can get way with anything. I do believe that customers should get the product/service that they want and that it should meet their specifications/requirements within reason. The delivery of these goods/services should not be at the expense of another persons integrity and well being. What ever happened to the golden rule? It's a damn shame that we allow other humans to conduct themselves in such a dishonorable and distasteful manner. Step the f#$% up and smack a fool if he layeth downeth inappropriatelyeth. It's time that we change the code that allows the behavior of consumers to unfavorably augment another person. Sunday, February 24, 2013
Arena Of The Damned, Or Why The Service Industry Fails
Few things are more obnoxious than self-centered, pretentious co-op customers or really any customer that behaves without regard to other humans, what a bunch of indecent interlopers. These shoppers exist in two states. State 1: Extremely Oblivious To All Surroundings And Get Suddenly Angry When They Bump Into Someone/Something And It Should Be Their/Its Fault, these shoppers are absolutely horrid to deal with as they can't seem to figure out the definition of staying calm. Look its not my fault your life sucks and I certainly don't deserve to be lashed out on because you can't get your shit together. I can understand the whole bumping into an object/person and being upset especially if it's not their fault. However, I would say 95% of the time the accidents that are followed by an extreme verbal barrage are a direct result of what appears to be a bong-rip addled decision system. Honestly I have had roommates whom after several bong rips were more aware of their immediate surroundings. Seriously I have watched people push their carts into oncoming cart traffic, and these are easily avoidable accidents too. Certainly the first thoughts in their mind shouldn't be how another is at fault, but rather perhaps how they need to suck up their pride and start apologizing or figuring out in which way they plan on fixing their f*&^ing mess that they created. State 2: I Am Entitled To Do/Ask Whatever I Want Because I Am A Pompous F@#$ That Has Never Worked In The Service Industry Because I Think I Am Too Good For The Service Industry. Nothing boils my blood more than those customers that can easily be classified as pompous asses. While we are on the subject of the service industry, I think that their should be a new type of draft, one in which every person should be required to work a minimum of three years in the service industry. If for no other reason than to cram into their infinitely small minds how incredibly ridiculous and unnecessary their conduct is. I don't believe it to be that they are simply rich and famous, as I have served celebrities and they are typically nice and not demanding beyond reason. Really I think its more in line with how customers are allowed to conduct themselves in a business setting. This seems to be a direct result of the misconstrued and heavily abused notion that all customers "should have it their way". Similarly the practice of the customer always being right is defective, draconian, and absolutely trash. It has opened the door for customers to get away with essentially anything, even worse they expect that they can get way with anything. I do believe that customers should get the product/service that they want and that it should meet their specifications/requirements within reason. The delivery of these goods/services should not be at the expense of another persons integrity and well being. What ever happened to the golden rule? It's a damn shame that we allow other humans to conduct themselves in such a dishonorable and distasteful manner. Step the f#$% up and smack a fool if he layeth downeth inappropriatelyeth. It's time that we change the code that allows the behavior of consumers to unfavorably augment another person. 
Sunday, February 10, 2013
The Consumed Behavoir of The Trailer Park Boys
Haven't seen The Trailer Park boys? Well you poor, unfortunate soul, you are missing out on probably the single greatest anything that Canada has produced, aside from Pamela Anderson of course. This show follows the comedic follies of a rather daft, yet some how genius, group of trailer park residents. These follies include; adventures with a mountain lion named Steve French, Jim Lahey's many "shit-isms", the "bottle kids", and of course no season is complete without a ridiculously botched weed growing operation.
Trailer Park Boys exceeds in not only how much heart and originality the show has, but also how extremely low budget it was. Major TV networks should take a serious cue from these guys, that while a large budget sure helps to build a TV series it by no means is the deciding factor of its attractiveness and acceptance. *Classwork Talk Alert* What they figured out was how to listen to their audience, essentially because they are part of the audience. They came from the same demographic that they were trying to sell the show too. An average low to middle income person that isn't afraid of a smattering of curse words and crude caveman-esque humor. And I will only admit this once, maybe we are all like reptiles and just need our reptile buttons pressed, or whatever it was that obnoxiously rich french man said. Included below is Mr. Lahey describing his looking glass self.
Granted that video may seem a bit strange if you know nothing about the Trailer Park Boys, so here is Ricky and his flawlessly hilarious witticisms. I think the reason we enjoy humor of this variety is because it is the only damn thing our ideal and actual selves can agree on, that its absolutely hilarious. On page two of the text book of life it says, when in doubt laugh it out.
Beer of the Week: Ninkasi's Extra Special Bitter Ale and Lagunita's Brown Shugga Substitute Ale
After sufficiently sampling each I can't decide which I like more. The Brown Shugga is blowing up the alcohol ricter scale at 8% alcohol by volume, the Ninkasi is tugging along at 5.8%. That said they are both robust and hoptastic, and seriously just try the damn beer. Expand your beer horizons. Gluten-free need not worry, check out the O Mission brew line by Widmer Brothers(Not 100% on that being the right company, but O' Mission is most definitely the right brew line). It tastes like beer sans the gluten.
.JPG)
Trailer Park Boys exceeds in not only how much heart and originality the show has, but also how extremely low budget it was. Major TV networks should take a serious cue from these guys, that while a large budget sure helps to build a TV series it by no means is the deciding factor of its attractiveness and acceptance. *Classwork Talk Alert* What they figured out was how to listen to their audience, essentially because they are part of the audience. They came from the same demographic that they were trying to sell the show too. An average low to middle income person that isn't afraid of a smattering of curse words and crude caveman-esque humor. And I will only admit this once, maybe we are all like reptiles and just need our reptile buttons pressed, or whatever it was that obnoxiously rich french man said. Included below is Mr. Lahey describing his looking glass self.
Granted that video may seem a bit strange if you know nothing about the Trailer Park Boys, so here is Ricky and his flawlessly hilarious witticisms. I think the reason we enjoy humor of this variety is because it is the only damn thing our ideal and actual selves can agree on, that its absolutely hilarious. On page two of the text book of life it says, when in doubt laugh it out.
Beer of the Week: Ninkasi's Extra Special Bitter Ale and Lagunita's Brown Shugga Substitute Ale
After sufficiently sampling each I can't decide which I like more. The Brown Shugga is blowing up the alcohol ricter scale at 8% alcohol by volume, the Ninkasi is tugging along at 5.8%. That said they are both robust and hoptastic, and seriously just try the damn beer. Expand your beer horizons. Gluten-free need not worry, check out the O Mission brew line by Widmer Brothers(Not 100% on that being the right company, but O' Mission is most definitely the right brew line). It tastes like beer sans the gluten.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Super Bowl Sunday and My Beer(s) of the Week
.JPG)
This week I have two beers being featured in my beer-o-blog-o-sphere. Black Ghost Oatmeal Stout by Madison River Brewing Company (over in Belgrade, MT) and Little Sumpin' Sumpin' by Lagunitas. While I can't say that I have a definitive favorite brewery, both of these brewery's are easily in my Top 5. However, I can with much gusto say that neither brewery has a beer that is anything but deliciously awesome. Yes I can and will claim that, and here's why. I am what some call a beer snob, however not one of those whiny, obnoxious, know-it-all's that claims his/her superb taste for beer is second to none. They have reserved themselves a special place in non-alcoholic hell.
A quick tip to deal with those ass-hats, (1st) hit the mental ignore switch and save your sanity, (2nd) grab a can/bottle/glass/container of the shittiest beverage nearby (the greater the sugar content, the stickier the mess, I recommend Mad-Dog 20/20 if you can find one), (3rd) waterfall said substance on beer snob to end his incessant whining.
Back to my qualifications as a certifiably non-obnoxious, non-whiny... hey put that disgusting beverage down I know what your up too, I invented that technique a few lines back, and besides dumping a beverage all over your monitor won't magically erase my sage internet wisdom, yeah that's right I said sage. Lets just suffice it to say, that I love beer, not all beer, but the majority of beers, from aluminum can to fancy glass bottle to under-carbonated home-brew experiment, I love em'!
Black Ghost Oatmeal Stout is so damn tasty that if there was but one bottle of it left in the world, and the qualifications to acquire it were to wrestle a black bear for its trout dinner, my life expectancy would plummet. Comparatively, Little Sumpin' Sumpin' is great, amazing even, but worth challenging a bear for its dinner, hardly. That said both have amazing flavors, appropriate amounts of hops, and garner and easy recommendation for just about anyone that would enjoy either a stout or an IPA. Might I note that if you are not a fan of darker, full bodied beer, these beers might not be for you.
Final notes, didn't watch the super bowl, don't care. Please don't attempt to fool me into thinking there is only one bottle of Black Ghost Oatmeal Stout left in the world, while it might make for a hilarious YouTube video, the bear would certainly be decimated and the guilt would consume you. A display of my bear wrestling techniques. And I realized that I don't have anything of relevance for our consumer behavior class. Shit, next paragraph!
I promise, this is my last paragraph. Part V - Live Organ Transplants. So, In "The Persuaders", there was that douchy mcdoucher french guy that made all that money from marketing schemes, in which he equated humans to reptiles. People actually paid this man to make a mockery of the common man. I especially hated his smug, know-it all attitude, quite similar to a beer snob. I would pay exactly a third of my next paycheck, around $150, for someone to pour a vat of skunk-gland juice all over him, and then after the shame of being stanky make him fight a bear for its trout dinner. And finally a video to console you for reading this ridiculously long blog post, next time will hopefully be shorter. Stupid, hilarious, and a throw back to the crappy cartoon He-Man.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)