Slogan Me This

I never truly realized how much of a time-sink finding/creating a good slogan is, that was until this semester during which I have had two opportunities to craft slogans. I had to do this once for a marketing class and once for an independent study, and I can tell you that each time has been excruciatingly painful. The problem is it doesn't have the same sense of finality that say a paper or an exam does. It seems each time, the slogan think-tank spent a lot of time and came up with fairly average to above average slogans. While, the slogan is certainly a powerful and necessary marketing tool, the crafting of one is difficult and potentially fruitless. In a sense even the best slogan's that were once a unifying factor of a company can be it's downfall. ex Red Roof Inn and its previous cheapest stay slogan. Another problem lies in the fact that if you change a slogan too many times, it feels the effects of diminishing returns. ex Burger King and its boat load of slogans. Needless to say I would hate to be a Sloganeer, or one that creates slogans of worth. It would seem that it's a rather lucrative business as there are plenty of great  slogans out there, but for each great one there is an untold amount of complete and utter failures. I guess at least these failures have one true avenue of success, which would be for our entertainment. A little bit of laughter can go a long way during a stressful day.

Oh Snap! I broke my glasses again?!

Well it's been about a year since the last time I destroyed a pair of glasses and had to buy new ones, which as it happens was about a year after the previous occurrence of broken eye wear. In fact this yearly tragedy has plagued me since my late teens and throughout my entire twenties. (I'll be 28 in July for those curious how long that is.) It is rather unfortunate and unpleasant when this occurs both for the unexpected financial stab (last set of frames and lenses set me back $550, multiplied by how many frames in the previous years... f*@k I feel stupid, at this point Oakley should just pay me to do there frame stress testing) and for looking "a fool" with my ramshackle, hodgepodge fixer-uppers that have to be donned until the new spectacles arrive. Yeah check these awesome bad boys out, you know what they say... If you can't duck it, f*&^ it!

Alright enough of the negative-nancy, woe is me attitude, there are some awesome attributes to bungling my present frames. First, I get to rock new frames every year which is pretty damn exciting, although I generally get similar glasses. Second, I get glasses so frequently that the kind folk down at The Bent Lens don't require updated prescriptions from me any more, which is especially nice for those years in which more than one pair bite the dust. Third, I now am forever with a writing device, should I chose to done the now proclaimed "Party Frames"! Fourth, I found out today that I couldn't even read the top line at the optometrists, with my glasses on! Fifth and most important, at the end of the day they are just another pair of glasses, and minus the monetary nut crunch, why should I really give a damn? Sixth, if ever given the option of going to a Metallica Tribute Band, always attend. Can you really put a price on *allegedly playing air guitar on your back at a show, can you really?

*Allegedly refers to the state one finds themselves in when informed of the previous nights activities that they can't corroborate of their own accord, thusly entering a state of cognitive dissonance and entering the state of "photos or didn't happen".

PS to any of those hipster types out there, I'll sell my recently modified glasses/signing-device for the cool price of either a new pair of glasses or a case of ammo, your choice. Which leads me to a joke to end this post.


How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?




Some obscure number you wouldn't know.

Yarr! Strawberries HO!

When I think of the term Sales Promotions, I think of some partially balding sales clerk at (Insert favorite corporate shopping store here) slowly and methodically taking down the previous weeks sales stickers while putting up the new ones, complete with an evil grin fixed upon his pallid face. I have always assumed that it must be this miser of man that is behind the changing of the weeks promotions, or more importantly the subject to my dismay. Him and his team of veteran enjoyment-robbing-pirate-hookers, they know I am coming and change the sales upon my immediate departure to the vast, glorious, and dangerous land that is The Supermarket. I feel this way because it always seems that all the cool shit was discounted the week before. I know that it's relatively stupid and implausible to assume that  a corporation would make its primary focus to short me out of my potential to get a sweet deal, but seriously wheres the love at?
This brings me to my triumph of the day. Strawberries, not just any strawberries either. I'm talking about delicious, organic strawberries for two dollars a pound. So organic... they are organic. Finally my quest for a bitchin' deal is complete. I guess all I have learned in any of my marketing classes is true, people love sales promotions. It invokes equal parts happiness and excitement, like a pirate sailing the high seas of consumerism avast his ship of savvyness. Now excuse me while I obliterate these strawberries.

Edit: Forgot a picture, already ate the damn strawberries, here's an owl getting hosed.

Spring Adventures

First off, huge props to Professor Austin for letting us duck out of class early and enjoy yesterdays amazingly awesome spring/summer weather. I hope y'all were able to enjoy those amazing cosmic rays that were drenching the greater Bozeman area. What did I do inquired nobody. I packed up my hiking stuff and got my ass up to Lava Lake. Honestly, there is much I would love to blab and brag about, but it just wouldn't do the adventure any justice. In this instance I'll just let the pictures do the talking. Hope you enjoy! Also for those curious, the Lava Lake trail head can be found in the canyon pass up to Big Sky, you will see a sign for it about half up near the bridge, just after House rock.

 Simple Pleasures for A Simple Man

Here's looking at you Bozeman!

How many zombies does it take to direct a TV show?

EDIT: I thought I had lost this blog after accidentally back browsing. Alas it was saved, so I will post this in addition to another.

Recently I came across the first season of Ren and Stimpy, which is a TV show I use to enjoy the hell out of as a youth. I'm not sure if any of y'all have seen the show since it debuted back in the great era of 90's, but the show is absolutely ridiculous. The show is just, out right absurd, every aspect of it. Just youtube the log song, and you will get an idea. I really wouldn't be surprised to learn that the creators of this show loved to drop acid before crafting the story boards for each of the episodes of this show. Seriously, watch a few episodes, this shit is unreal. The irony of the situation is that back then parents didn't really know or seem to care what the hell us kids were watching, as its borderline kid appropriate. Good ole Ren and Stimpy, they made it at least a few seasons in, until a parent finally watched it and got it shut down.

On the topic of TV shows, I find it incredible ironic and awesome that the season finale of a incredibly popular zombie TV show is on Easter. Ironic, but why, well because it's zombie jesus day of course. Man dies, man rebirths, man is zombie. Happy Zombie Jesus Day, and will someone please pass the god damn ham!

 

EDIT: The Walking Dead, more like lets build you up for what could have been an awesome season finale, and then half way through the episode hire a team of amateur-film-student-college-hipster kids and have them finish out the season finale. As they say these days, EPIC FAIL.

Beer of the week, Ninkasi Brewing Company's Spring Reign. It's springy, lightly hopped, and pretty darn tasty. I'm fairly certain this brewery can do no wrong in my eyes, I still haven't tasted a beverage from these guys that I don't love (or at least like).